15 May, 2012

In a Relationship

The cat's out of the bag, and the congratulations are in.  I thought I would let the whole event sink in and settle down, and now that it has, it's time to interview Bill.

Claire Mokrauer-Madden: I just heard about you and Elsie!
Bill Sheasgreen: What about us?
CMM: Umm, that you're in a relationship?
BS: We are?
CMM: That's what it says on Facebook.  Doesn't that mean that it's real?
BS: Oh yes, that, of course.  I thought you were talking about something else.
CMM: Have you and Elsie done something else?
BS: No.
CMM: ...ok.  Um, I'm a little confused, so let's draw a veil over that one.  So!  You and Elsie are in a relationship!
BS: A business relationship.
CMM: Is that so?  What kind of business?
BS: Music and fashion mostly. 
CMM: Does she do the music and you do the fashion?
BS: No, I do both.  She keeps the books.
CMM: Oh, right... so what kind of music is it?
BS: For legal reasons I have to call it "Beatles cover" music, even though McCartney and I both know who wrote all those songs.
CMM: Please, let's leave the man out of this.  Tell me about the fashion side of the business.
BS: I'm rewriting what it means to be cool.  I'm turning the conventions that you take for granted each day up on their heads.  I'm putting suits on the rugby pitch, high heels on the beach and making hats at weddings obsolete.
CMM: This sounds uncomfortable, inappropriate and needless.
BS: Yes!  You've hit the concept on the head!  Why be conventional when you can set yourself apart?  I'm doing this on all sides of the business.  Don't you want to hear Hey Jude performed by an oompah band?  Or, one that I wrote for very personal reasons, Can't Buy me Love in its original Russian?
CMM: Please!  I asked you once already to let it go for a moment.  Sir Paul would prefer you not speak about him.  Tell me about Elsie's role in the business.
BS: Yes, Elsie, my business partner.  She manages our bookings and works as the company's agent/marketing department.  I wear my designs when I perform "his" songs, and often she helps coordinate my costumes.  We make a great team!
CMM: It sounds like you're the front-man and she's the power behind the throne.
BS: Oh no!  Elsie's very much in front of the throne.  I travel on a throne upheld by five professional throne-carriers, but she travels by public transportation, which is obviously much more efficient.  So she always arrives in front of the throne.
CMM: Hmm, that's a somewhat more literal interpretation of what I was saying than I expected, though that seems to be par for this interview.
BS: Yes, it is...
CMM: ...and do you have anything coming up, either in music or fashion?
BS: Well, now that you mention it, Elsie is working on her own fashion line at Top Shop.  She's sort of riding on the momentum of Kate Moss's work there, and she's feeling really good about it.  To my taste it's all a bit vanilla, but as she often reminds me, vanilla's a pretty amazing flavour.  I tried recommending she incorporate more plaid into her designs, and when she was finally done laughing, she ignored that suggestion.
CMM: That's great for Elsie!  When will we get to see her designs?  Are you doing her marketing?
BS: We're looking at a date in September, but nothing's quite finalized.  We've had an idea to do pop-up fashion shows in advance of London Fashion Week.  We'll be doing a few around London, so keep your eyes peeled!
CMM: Thanks for the heads up!  I definitely will!  Listen, this has been a great interview, minus the excessive bile towards Sir Paul McCartney.  You really should consider therapy for your issues with him.  Maybe even the two of you going to couples counseling or something.
BS: Couples counseling?  Elsie doesn't have nearly as many issues with him as I have.  I don't really think it would be worth her time.
CMM: Never mind.  Thanks anyway for the interview.  As usual, it would have been great if you had actually participated in it, but you didn't.
BS: I never do.
Elsie likes long walk in the summer and sitting along the Thames Embankment.  Bill likes Arsenal and QPR.

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